lameborghini:

mom: why are u always on ur phone
me: i can’t talk right now i just finished doing a photoshoot for metropolitan magazine and now simon is calling me

4,610 notes

lokeleo:

andthenewt:

weirdnessloveandscifi:

bohemian-napsody:

very fucking punny you shits

teeth

with all the actual humour, tumblr still finds “teeth” the funniest thing.

actual humor

443,730 notes

brambledei:

fannishflightsoffancy:

you (nearly) sunk my battleship.

there are actual tear in my eyes

brambledei:

fannishflightsoffancy:

you (nearly) sunk my battleship.

there are actual tear in my eyes

108,248 notes

thefuuuucomics:

dictatorboy:

Shirt I saw while souvenir shopping

i must have this shirt

(Source: protoni)

153,450 notes

If you’re lonely, bored, or unhappy, remember you are mad young. There is so much time to meet new people and go to new places.
Ezra Koenig (via fromsimplemeans)

365 notes

Avengers Deconstructed 

(Source: prettylittlespider)

12,690 notes

kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

155,760 notes

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

darkwingsnark:

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again

A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend. 

JE SUS

17,239 notes