thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

149,750 notes

drunkmichaels:

Dear Willow Pape,: don’t hate me cause you ain’t me

1. Smack You by Kimberly Cole // 2. Work B**ch by Britney Spears // 3. Problem by Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea // 4. FU by Miley Cyrus feat. French Montana // 5. Leave (Get Out) by Jojo // 6. Fuck You by Lily Allen // 7. Give You Hell by The All American Rejects // 8. Kill Of The Night by Gin Wigmore // 9. Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj // 10. 99 Problems by Jay-Z

Listen

drunkmichaels:

Dear Willow Pape,: don’t hate me cause you ain’t me

1. Smack You by Kimberly Cole // 2. Work B**ch by Britney Spears // 3. Problem by Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea // 4. FU by Miley Cyrus feat. French Montana // 5. Leave (Get Out) by Jojo // 6. Fuck You by Lily Allen // 7. Give You Hell by The All American Rejects // 8. Kill Of The Night by Gin Wigmore // 9. Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj // 10. 99 Problems by Jay-Z

Listen

669 notes

trusthim:

if you ever feel dumb remember that harry tried to convince snape that his nickname is ‘roonil wazlib’ 

6,926 notes

glna:

i talk a lot of shit for someone who’s scared to make a phone call tbh

(Source: urasue)

417,192 notes

ifimeanalottoyou:

Drugs Under The Microscope

187,220 notes

– “They have flesh memories. When Scrimgeour first gave it to you, I thought it might open at your touch… that Dumbledore had hidden something inside it.”

– “Hermione, you were right. Snitches have flesh memories, but I didn’t catch the first Snitch with my hand, I almost swallowed it.”

(Source: parfaited)

3,666 notes

itsvondell:

someone is going to say “i have to go to the moon” in a bored, defeated tone one day

242,398 notes